


The Hobbit: An Unexpected Alphabet

by Bofur1



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alphabet Meme, Attempt at Humor, Gen, Movie Reference, Rhyming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 23:42:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofur1/pseuds/Bofur1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The alphabet according to Thorin's Company! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hobbit: An Unexpected Alphabet

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Avengers ABC](https://archiveofourown.org/works/518703) by [pulangaraw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulangaraw/pseuds/pulangaraw). 



**A** is for Azog

The Orc who won’t die.

He can see a fresh trail

But passes over butterflies.

 

 **B** is for Balin

And the Broadbeams besides—

The wisest, the kindest,

In whom Bilbo confides.

 

 **C** is for Company

Those zealous and true

To the mission they’re given

The job they’re to do.

 

 **D** is for Dwalin

And Dori what’s more.

They can be quite grouchy

But they’ve been through war.

 

 **E** is for Elrond

A tall Elven Lord

Who can read ancient Dwarvish

And knows much about swords.

 

 **F** is for Fíli

The heir of the line.

He stands brave and handsome

With hair flaxen fine.

 

 **G** is for Galadriel

The Elf Lady lithe,

Who knows what you’re thinking

And speaks in your mind.

 

 **H** is for Halfling

Or Hobbit (the same).

Anyway it’s that one lad,

Don’t bother with names.

 

 **I** is for injured

That’s where Óin comes in.

He patches you up

After unhealthy spins.

 

 **J** is for justice

It’s what Smaug’s gonna get!

He’s a Dragon of fire;

Who’s got something wet?

 

 **K** is for Kíli

The fun-loving archer,

Whose wits are quite sharp

And whose arrows are sharper.

 

 **L** is for Lindir

Who quietly serves

And really doesn’t get

All the thanks he deserves.

 

 **M** is for Mirkwood

Which used to be green...

But darkness has stolen

All the beauty once seen.

 

 **N** is for Nori

The sly and svelte thief,

Whose abilities and tricks

Are to Bilbo bequeathed.

 

 **O** is for Orcrist

The cleaver that bites.

Don’t get in its way,

For it’s got a mean slice!

 

 **P** is for pinecones

They’re actually nifty

For tossing at Orcs

While you’re waiting for lifty.

 

 **Q** is for quest

Uncle Thráin had the map.

He gave it to Gandalf

After walking into a trap.

 

 **R** is for Rivendell

The place Dwarves dislike,

For only Elves live there

And they all look alike.

 

 **S** is stone giants

Who throw rocks and boulders.

Their feuds end up in

Heads falling off shoulders.

 

 **T** is for Thorin

The wandering royal.

He carries an Oakenshield

And hates the disloyal.

 

 **U** is Ungoliant

A repulsive old spider

Whose vile brood’s land

Grows progressively wider.

 

 **V** is for vulgar

Which describes wicked Gollum.

The creature’s obsession

With coat pockets is a slalom.

 

 **W** is for wrong

It’s when Thorin finds out

That devotion and honor

Are what Bilbo’s about.

 

 **X** is for (x)acceptance

And macho Dwarf hugs,

And forgiveness for comments

About cooking and bugs.

 

 **Y** stands for years

And the scars that they bring

Bilbo will have lots—

And also a Ring.

 

 **Z** is for Zealand

And shaping things new

Oh, about those movies—

It won’t just be two...


End file.
